the most important thing i’ve learnt in all my years is that it is a terrible idea to drink from a cup while lying down
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
I can feel you slowly forgetting me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
tell me how you’re feeling, or tell me a story in my ask
how do you get a nice body without moving
my inbox is open to random messages and perhaps confessions
when somebody actually texts me first and wants to hang out
(Source: mannysantosisgonnabefamous, via samthecaliforniakid)
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”
i’m done with this website
proving someone wrong after an intense argument